Jars of Thoughts

Tag: aspiration

  • Counting my blessings

    Count blessings3

    Since I started preparing for my journey, I have met so many amazing individuals who has thoroughly blessed me in ways that I wouldn’t have imagined possible. Being brought up in a society where distrust is the name of the game, where kindness came from government campaigns rather than a generous spirit and the meaning of life is calculated in cents and dollars, it never occurred to me that I would ever meet people like that. These people, who gave so generously of themselves and loved so genuinely without expecting any returns at all. You guys have inspired me.

    I just want to use this space today, to thank a few of these amazing people who has changed the way I viewed the world.

    V, you wanted to blessed my journey so much so that you actually offered to top up my travel fund although I didn’t even ask for it (much less thought about it), all because you has done this before and know how hard it can be. I didn’t ask how much not because it didn’t matter, but because your thoughts behind it meant so much more. My greatest gratitude. You’ve not only helped me make this journey that much longer, but you have also proven to me that the world is a much kinder place than what most people made it out to be. Now because of what you have done for me, I will be consciously lending a hand to help bless others along the road and to people who will make this journey after me, as much as I possibly can.

    B, thank you so much for providing me the account to your Kobo app so that my journey ahead will not simply be just counting the fingers on my hands when I have absolutely nothing to do. Your advice on working as I am traveling is invaluable and I will definitely need to seek you out for more advice along the way! I feel a lot less lonely, knowing that there are fellow Singaporeans around who are doing the same thing. Not only that, but you also managed to have your partner and two dogs travel along with you while you do what you love. You are tremendously inspiring. I have become a little more braver, and a little more motivated to follow through with my plans because of you. Thank you so much once again.

    C, We haven’t spoken in awhile and I didn’t know you moved away to work. Thank you for offering your home to me and allowing me stay as long as I like, as and when I travel to the place you’re at. You didn’t even stop there. You offered to pay me as well, just to help you around with housework. I would have done it for free anyway because I am already thankful to have a roof over my head and to have an amazing friend like you. When I have my own place in the future, wherever it may be, I too will open my place for others seeking a roof over their heads, a good rest for the night and a warm, full meal.

    J, despite the fact that we haven’t met, you are still one of the most superbly inspiring individual I’ve ever come to know. You doing the same thing as me is amazing. You being around the same age as me is even more so! I approached you via Facebook when i first saw your journey on the couchsurfing website as well as your Facebook page. You were quick to reply, with such openness to share whatever that you have experienced and learnt to someone you barely knew. Your courage inspired me to no end. Your motivation to follow through despite all circumstances has proven to me that all things are possible. . It is nice to have a fellow companion on a journey, even if we are not in the same country. Perhaps one day we will cross paths and be able to share our experiences together more candidly in person.

    To my parents who despite being so worried about me, supported my journey anyway, You guys even went to the point of buying my laptop and camera at a price that no one would ever pay for, just to help me raise funds before I leave and at the same time, still allow me to have convenient  access to ‘loan’ them. The love that you guys have for me is so special and I feel incredibly lucky to be your son . I promise you guys that I will take good care of myself and keep you guys posted as much possible. I love you both so so much. Without the both of you, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Big hugs mum and dad…

  • What my heart tells me…

    It has been 3 weeks since I made the decision to embark on this journey. My resolve hasn’t change and I feel just as motivated. Emotionally and spiritually though, I find myself growing and expanding beyond my imagination.

    I’ve been bulldozing my way through the world wide web with insatiable curiosity, a world I never knew existed except in fictional movies and books. I began meeting people from all over the world through the couchsurfing community in Singapore, people who are living or knew about this particular way of life. I was amazed, addicted, captivated and enraptured. It was as if I have been living in a black and white world and suddenly, everything began exploding around me in a plethora of colors in full high definition mode.

    Discovering this world has changed my life, before I even start this journey. I knew I would never see things the same way anymore. I am in love with a reality that no one I knew around me could or want to see. I am embracing it, taking it, believing in it. My body vibrates with intense excitement over the impending departure of my old ways and belief systems. The entanglements of my old life slowly dissipates as a whole new self-actualization takes over my entire being.

    I maybe one of the few, in ratio to the rest of the world, but it doesn’t matter anymore because I can finally see things with more clarity than most. For the very first time in my 26 years, I feel unashamedly free. I am naked to the world but no longer afraid. I am ready to take on life as it is and let it lead me instead of the other way round.

    I am ready to go.

  • For the people I meet along the road

    Just created the first draft of my travel name card,  to give to people I meet along the road… let me know what you guys think! =D

    Image

  • Having cold feet

    Traveling around the world is exciting but also very daunting, especially so if you are planning to travel alone like me. Making the decision and buying the one way ticket for me was simply the first step. Other than the tiresome handling of personal affairs before I leave, I found myself emotionally plagued with constant doubt, worry and even anxiety before I even actually get out of Singapore!

    However, I have been repeatedly assured by like-minded individuals, travelers or otherwise, that what I am going through is perfectly normal. Having cold feet is normal because you have just made one of THE biggest decision (and change, because your life will never be the same anymore) in your life and it is entirely forgivable and understandable. In fact, it would be weird if you don’t actually feel this way at all.

    How I managed to keep myself going and remaining firm to my decision is to constantly:

    1. Keep researching about my trip as it builds up my excitement before I go and also gets me prepared, which in turn makes me less panicky. I find myself actively addressing my  worries by researching about them to get a better idea and it really helps to calm those pre-travel jitters of mine

    2. Keep reading up on inspiring stories and testimonies of people who had done this or are still doing this. You will be surprised by how many there are! You are not alone 🙂

    3. Surrounding myself with people who supports and encourages me. My friends, family members and the couchsurfing community

    4. Staying positive. Consciously tell yourself all the time that you will be fine, because you are.

    5. Starting a blog. Before I actually fly off on the 29th of December this year, this blog also serves as my emotional and spiritual compass, monitoring my feelings & thoughts (keeping it in check as well) while I prepare myself for the adventure of a lifetime! Anytime I start doubting myself, I simply go back to my previous post (especially my very first post) which reminds me the reason why I wanted to travel in the first place!

    6. Telling everyone I know about my plans. This method really helps me stay accountable to my own actions

    7. Keep moving instead of procrastinating. This means that since I have made a firm decision to go, I shouldn’t waste time to clear the path in front of me. This includes leaving my job, applying for permits, buying insurance, planning/packing my travel ware, researching on the routes I want to go and saving up as much money as possible until I fly off. Since I need to do it anyway, why delay?

    8. Don’t look back. Just go. If you don’t, instead of making the biggest decision in your life, you would have created the biggest regret instead.

    I know this trip probably isn’t going to be all moonlight and roses but it is to me, the first step towards the beginning of a renewal. I know I am not going to regret this because I have been secretly raring for it all my life and it is finally, really, REALLY happening!

    “Carpe diem! Seize the day, make your lives extraordinary” – Dead Poet Society

  • Preparing for the road ahead

    And so the journey begins… the preparation part that is.

    Managed to settle my exit permit after a flurry of calls (they didn’t have a direct line) because the online registration failed me totally. None of the options within the registration said “vagabonding” and I had no choice but to apply for it directly but oh, thank God it is done.

    The insurance part was icky but will be settled soon nevertheless. Leaving my job was easier than I thought as my boss was super understanding about it so that’s all and good. Meanwhile, I am still easing my way into telling all my friends (family all settled) that I am leaving Singapore indefinitely, as I have to answer so many questions like why I am doing this and whether I had thought it through properly… basically all the motions of psycho-analyzing from people who simply could not believe I would leave everything behind to travel alone RTW.  But for the very first time, telling people “I don’t know” feels exceptionally liberating  because I realised that I don’t have to know the answer all the time. I am finally at a stage where I am ready to expect the unexpected. Knowing that nothing anyone else can say will sway my conviction to do this makes me feel even more confident that I am actually ready for this, Beautiful world, here I come. 🙂

    Now all that’s left is planning my general route (which is quite a feat considering my limited budget and all the uncertainties ahead) and doing a great load of research before going so I don’t end up trudging around aimlessly and utterly lost in the wilderness somehow. Of course, I am approaching this with flexibility to make sure the journey is more about the experience and the people, and not all about plans and rushing from one place to another.

    The biggest concern however, is about the money and my intentions to work along the way seems superbly daunting. Will I be able to really get a job? what can I do? Where can I work? How much will I earn? How long will have to work? (There’s various options like WWOOFing and TEFL but all of them seems kind of contrived right now) All these are uncertain but as always, I am determined to see it through. There is no turning back now.

    If you asked me a few months ago if I would be doing this, I would have thought it was crazy. Now? It is slowly becoming a reality.

    The countdown begins… =)

  • Learning more about Vagabonding, I am

    Bought myself two books from Amazon to accompany me on my journey this coming December! Highly recommended by fellow traveler friends who does the same thing, it supposedly gives a lot of inspirations as well as practical and useful tips on long term travel!

    Really looking forward to pouring through all the pages (yes, aside from traveling, my other love is reading!). Check out the titles below and if you are embarking on the same type of journey as I am, geddit!

    vagabonding-bookcover

    Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel by Rolf Potts

    9781409363828

    The Rough Guide to First-Time Around The World

  • Doubt is part of the game

    “When fear takes over, it stuns and it paralyses you. The only way is to consciously try to always be one step ahead of it.” – me

    It is never easy to experience negativity, especially when you are going through moments in your life where big changes are happening, or when major decisions has been made.

    Right after my decision to travel to as many countries as I can manage for an extended period of time (and quitting my job for that matter), I have gotten a lot of support from my friends and family, but at the same time, their doubts, worries, concerns over whether I am acting on impulsive and clouded judgement. Some were even betting on my premature return, thinking that I will probably regret this route I have taken, sooner or later.

    While fear crept in upon the wake of their concerns, I realised they weren’t concerns that I haven’t already thought about. However, I reflected on why I didn’t feel as concerned about it when I thought about it myself as compared to when I hear it coming from the people who are close to me. Maybe it is the constant arrows of doubts shooting at me without giving me any time to breathe. Maybe it is me not thinking clearly enough. Or maybe because it is because I think they are right.

    Questions that crept into my mind were, what if I don’t survive the whole way through? What will happen when my journey ends, will I be able to pick up my life from where I left off? Will I be able to find another job after all these is over? What if everyone has moved on from me and when I come back, I find myself all alone?

    Overwhelmed by it all, because the fear is as real as it gets, I decided to text Kristen late at night, a new friend from US I made from the couchsurfing community who is currently traveling the world and hoping that she can, from experience, help me put everything in perspective. She replied almost immediately and said something that brought tears to my eyes. ” You’ll get negative feedback. But it’s just their own insecurities. Follow your heart. There is a whole world of us out there.”

    It hit me that I am not alone is this struggle and it helped calm me down quite a bit (almost like Xmen, where the mutants who never felt like they belonged in a world full of regular people suddenly found a community just like themselves, haha!).  It came to me that I would not have to restart my life all over again because I have already started a new life now. If I think too far ahead, I would always be plagued by worries that will stop me from truly living the life that I want. I would have changed when I come back through this journey of self discovery, and the concerns I have now would not be the same as I would have when my travel ends.

    The next thing I realized was that it was precisely why I am doing this. To remove myself from the expectations that the world has on me and live without regrets. A few things came into my mind through this thought process.

    1. I will regret it if I choose not to embark on this journey as planned

    2. I will regret it if I didn’t follow my heart and do what I need to do for my own life

    3. I will regret giving all these up because I doubted myself, and letting fear take over to stun my newly discovered perspective in life

    The fear is real, it is scary and full of uncertainties but I can’t allow myself to be stunned by it. Either way, this is my journey and I will still grow no matter what, and get better from it. Whether or not I have a mission now, or an end goal doesn’t really matter.

    From the words of yet another fellow couch surfer from France, “The unknown can be very scary but it’s always genuine because you don’t know, that’s the beauty of it. Don’t expect, just live.”

    I promise to myself that no matter what, I will always, ALWAYS live my life to the fullest. And so should you. =)