Jars of Thoughts

Tag: spiritual

  • Eat Pray Love

    I heard about the book, I heard about  the movie, and I even gone as far as reading the synopsis on IMDb, but I was never once interested to experience it. Until yesterday night, while sitting alone on my bed and surfing the net, I had the sudden inspiration to watch the movie… and so I did.

    I found myself moving in tandem with Elizabeth Gilbert, the lead character, as I traveled the places that she did, and experienced and felt her struggles, frustration and desperation as well as her joy, happiness and excitement throughout the whole process of finding balance in a world she couldn’t make sense of. I couldn’t tear myself away from the screen until the movie was done. I was exhausted, thoroughly drained by how much she went through and most importantly, how much I related to it.

    Finding one’s self in a world where everyone seems to be hopping on the same footsteps as the ones before them. Recognizing how everyone is sharing largely similar ideals, not exactly the same specifically, but similar in essence of feeling the need to achieve and work towards something that ultimately might not fulfill us at all. On some occasions, it may make you feel even more emptier.

    I was pursuing too many things in my life and never stop to think, is this fulfilling to me? Am I happy? I became desperate to keep things normal and safe in my perfect tiny little box of certainty. In so doing, i cheated myself, my heart and mind together. I created a mock reality of what I thought I needed, and not what I really needed. I was too safe and too timid to live authentically.

    I don’t know what I need now but at least I am aware that I need to find it. Also, I am very sure that I can’t find it in a place that I have built my current life on. I need to go somewhere else, to clear my head and find the answers without the distractions or nostalgic compulsion of all the could-haves, would-haves, and should-haves.

    I need to get away from here and I am so glad I bought a ticket out of here.  It’s a start, to freedom and knowing myself more than I ever did in the last 26 years of my life.

  • Having cold feet

    Traveling around the world is exciting but also very daunting, especially so if you are planning to travel alone like me. Making the decision and buying the one way ticket for me was simply the first step. Other than the tiresome handling of personal affairs before I leave, I found myself emotionally plagued with constant doubt, worry and even anxiety before I even actually get out of Singapore!

    However, I have been repeatedly assured by like-minded individuals, travelers or otherwise, that what I am going through is perfectly normal. Having cold feet is normal because you have just made one of THE biggest decision (and change, because your life will never be the same anymore) in your life and it is entirely forgivable and understandable. In fact, it would be weird if you don’t actually feel this way at all.

    How I managed to keep myself going and remaining firm to my decision is to constantly:

    1. Keep researching about my trip as it builds up my excitement before I go and also gets me prepared, which in turn makes me less panicky. I find myself actively addressing my  worries by researching about them to get a better idea and it really helps to calm those pre-travel jitters of mine

    2. Keep reading up on inspiring stories and testimonies of people who had done this or are still doing this. You will be surprised by how many there are! You are not alone 🙂

    3. Surrounding myself with people who supports and encourages me. My friends, family members and the couchsurfing community

    4. Staying positive. Consciously tell yourself all the time that you will be fine, because you are.

    5. Starting a blog. Before I actually fly off on the 29th of December this year, this blog also serves as my emotional and spiritual compass, monitoring my feelings & thoughts (keeping it in check as well) while I prepare myself for the adventure of a lifetime! Anytime I start doubting myself, I simply go back to my previous post (especially my very first post) which reminds me the reason why I wanted to travel in the first place!

    6. Telling everyone I know about my plans. This method really helps me stay accountable to my own actions

    7. Keep moving instead of procrastinating. This means that since I have made a firm decision to go, I shouldn’t waste time to clear the path in front of me. This includes leaving my job, applying for permits, buying insurance, planning/packing my travel ware, researching on the routes I want to go and saving up as much money as possible until I fly off. Since I need to do it anyway, why delay?

    8. Don’t look back. Just go. If you don’t, instead of making the biggest decision in your life, you would have created the biggest regret instead.

    I know this trip probably isn’t going to be all moonlight and roses but it is to me, the first step towards the beginning of a renewal. I know I am not going to regret this because I have been secretly raring for it all my life and it is finally, really, REALLY happening!

    “Carpe diem! Seize the day, make your lives extraordinary” – Dead Poet Society